A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new Indian restaurant, 'Sam Bukks's Place,' and noticed that the Indian waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the Indian staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently  dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now..' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the Indian waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the Indian waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then the Indian waiter lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.'

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Conan O'Brien again proves to the world that he is a funny man.

Conan is rumored to have placed The Tonight Show for sale on Craigslist.  Zucker, the idiot in charge of NBCU proves once again his poor business sense by pissing off one of the best talents NBC has had since Jerry Seinfeld.  First by turning NBC into a state run media outlet and now this.

Just reading the ad on Craigslist reminds people of how funny Conan is and how disposable The Tonight Show property really is.  Zucker is under the impression that the late night show is a King maker, but in all reality Conan was a King of Comedy long before he signed on with NBC.  Many have contacted the Craigslist ad to purchase the show but none can reach a deal because of the Barry Manilow booking clause.

Hopefully, NBCU's new owners Comcast, will force Fucker, oops I mean Zucker ( I wonder if that was an old joke in his Temple growing up as a child?) to release Conan and  have him write for some of Comcast's G4 network's shows like Attack of the Show.